James Brown

James Brown has always been a part of my life. When I was a little girl we used to ride around town looking at Christmas lights and my dad would always save James Brown's house for last. I don't really remember the other lights or houses, but I definately remember his! James Brown's yard would be covered in all kinds of lights and at the very center of it all was a black santa claus. I had never seen a black santa before and I spent the next several years trying to stay up late so that I could see if Santa was black or white. As an adult I know that Santa comes in all shapes, sizes and colors, but as a white child in the early seventies I was mesmorized.
Later, my dad had the opportunity to redecorate some of the rooms in James Brown's house. I can see my dad sitting at the sewing machine making curtains that were made out of an animal print...zebra, I think....but what I really remember is how honored my dad was to be making them, and how ugly I thought they were! I was in my pink phase and thought everyone wanted pink curtains!:} I went with my dad for the final walk through of James Brown's house and I even sat at his dining room table and ate chocolate ice cream with one of his daughters. It was one of the highlights of my childhood.
More recently, I ran into James Brown at the local Fed Ex office. He autographed a picture for Katie. That was pretty cool, too.
I have read that Mr. Brown left his sick bed to distribute presents to needy children in Augusta shortly before he died. It does not surprise me one bit. I was very saddend by the fact that he died on Christmas Day. He meant a lot to so many people.
I didn't attend the funeral. I was out of town. I wouldn't have gone anyway because I don't like crowds or funerals. I understand that the James Brown arena holds 8100 people and that there were many standing outside because it was filled to capacity.
I choose to simply remember him fondly at Christmas...as I have for many years already, and I choose to believe that if he needs his mansion decorated in Heaven that he will look up my dad for the job :}

Conquering my fears

Every time I sit down at my computer and start typing about the things that I want to blog about I end up deleting it all, out of fear. I keep telling myself that I am going to start a journal...you know, with a real pen and paper so that I can record the day to day stuff that I am experiencing with the business. The good , the bad and the ugly...without the fear of exposing my true self to anyone. My true self being the one that worries a lot about what might happen tomorrow and never enjoys the success of the moment. The me who chooses to answer email on Christmas Eve by sneaking my blackberry into the bathtub with me so that I don't have to face my daughter's disappointment that I am working on yet another holiday...the me who has a vision so great for the future of my business that I am afraid to finish my business plan because it might actually work!
Even now, as I type this I know that there is a 99 percent chance that I will delete it without publishing it. Somehow, just typing it is theraputic though...so I plug on!
I had a conversation with a dear friend a week or so ago. His name is Joe. He is the quiet type...rarely makes a statement or comment that doesn't seem to be well thought out and profound. Whereas I often speak without thinking and just blurt out whatever is on my mind. Anyway, Joe intimidates me. Not because he means to...just because I wish I were more profound, I guess...He would be hurt to know that I am intimidated by him because he is one of the kindest and most thoughtful people that I know. I admire him. Anyway, our conversation was about my business and how I had not opened the doors to the new shop yet and how my business plan wasn't polished and didn't contain 2006 figures and how I wish I had more hours in the day and the list of my ramblings goes on....In a very calm and soothing voice, Joe simply says, "Carla, what I am hearing from you are a bunch of excuses. What are you afraid of?"
While his voice may have been calm and soothing, what I received from the comment was a big, swift kick in the behind! I was taken by surprise and I know that I mumbled some kind of answer, though I am not sure what I said to him...but when I hung up the phone, however, I started thinking...really thinking about his question.
The day before our conversation I would have told you that I am not afraid of much. The only things that come to mind are snakes, and I have an irrational fear of going off a bridge in my car and drowning. I would have told you that I have had a hard life...my entire life...and that I learned early on to use the lemons that life tosses me to make lemonade. I don't believe in wallowing in self pity and I don't believe in allowing things that have happened to me to become an excuse for making poor choices the rest of my life.
I am a pull yourself up by the bootstraps and move on kinda girl!
At any rate, I have been doing a lot of thinking and I have discovered that I am totally and completely paralyzed with fear when it comes to my business being successful. First, I am not even sure how you go about measuring success...on a good day, I think we are successful. It pays the bills and allows me to stay home with my daughter. It also makes it possible for other moms to work from home so that they can be with their kids. Those things are what it's all about, right? Getting by...okay, maybe not....I have this vision of greater things to come and I have a plan to get there...yet, I have wasted the last year settling for just "getting by".
I have all of these great ideas and new designs that I want to offer and yet, I limit myself on selling mostly the basics! Why?? Fear that you will like them...and fear that you won't! I have this great little shop that I have stocked and ready to open to the public but the doors are still locked...why?? Fear that the customers will come...and fear that they won't!
Sounds crazy, I know...but a little fear is healthy and I plan to let 2007 be the year that I conquer the silly fears and just put myself out there...starting now!! I am going to just close my eyes and force myself to push the "publish" button! Okay...I am really going to do it this time....almost there....and "boom" my secret fears are out there!!!

Is Santa Real ?

"Mommy, is Santa Claus REAAAALLLYY REAL ? " That seems to be the question of the day around our house! Katie is 8 years old now and she is so caught up between that stage of knowing the truth and wanting so badly to be wrong.
It is amusing to watch her. When she wants something added to her Christmas list, she always prefaces it with "Please tell Santa to bring me..." a video ipod, a flat screened tv..the biggest one they make... and the list goes on...with smaller stuff, thankfully!! It's like she thinks that by telling Santa to do it, I can't say no. Boy will she be surprised! The video ipod is doable, but the tv is too heavy for Santa to carry! He told me so when I called him. Honest...
You know, I don't remember when I stopped believing, but I do remember wondering, what if I'm wrong and he skips my house because I didn't write him a letter? I actually feel kind of sorry for her...but....the Santa in me wants to keep the suspense alive if only for 19 more days! It is hard to watch your baby grow up. Nobody ever told me it would be this difficult...sigh....

Anyway...I received an email today from Stork Avenue. They have the coolest letter from Santa that I have ever seen online! I immediately bought one and can not wait to see her face when she reads it Christmas morning! For all of you mommies out there who want to keep the magic alive a little while longer...I have provided the link below!

I know, I know....I am way too excited about this...but I can not seem to help myself!