I have spent the last couple of months spinning out of control. It started with waking up in the middle of the night with my heart slamming so hard against my chest that I could literally see my pajama top moving. At first I blew it off thinking I was waking up from a nightmare that I couldn't remember. It progressed to shortness of breath and chest pain. Naturally, I began to assume the worst and made an appointment with my physician where I discovered that my blood pressure was way outta control. He sent me to a cardiologist who introduced several different meds until we finally hit on one that worked without making me feel like I had 50 lb weights on each leg. After weeks of feeling like I was walking through mud and every heart test imaginable the new blood pressure meds kicked in and I was given a clean bill of health. I began to breathe again.

As I was checking out at the cardiologists office, my doctor stopped by with a brochure about a fairly inexpensive test that can predict what your heart will look like down the road. It is an important diagnostic test for people who have a family history of heart problems...which I do. Long story short, they scheduled me for the calcium score test and I went on my merry little way.

Fast forward 2 weeks...I get the results and discover that I have multiple enlarged lymph nodes in my chest area. Now I need a chest CT. Same results...multiple enlarged lymph nodes...I stop breathing again.

A little less than two years ago my baby brother was diagnosed with Lymphoma at age 30 so I would be lying if I said I wasn't worried. Life as I knew it just stopped. Everything changes when you come face to face with your own mortality. I have been here before when Katie and I almost didn't make it through child birth. This time was different though...I had to imagine Katie living without me and I can not describe the regret that hit me between the eyes. I realized that I have spent the last 11 years trying to make a life for katie instead of living our life. We've missed a lot. That sucks on so many levels that I can't even talk about it.

Anyway...I finally made my way to a thoracic surgeon who ended up doing major surgery to obtain several biopsies. It took an entire week for the results to come in but thankfully I do not have lymphoma. I am still not able to breathe yet beause it hasn't really sunk in completely. I am still trying to comprehend it all. Maybe I am waiting on the other shoe to drop. I dunno...

So I am sitting there looking at my surgeon and I say " well...what is wrong with me ?" His response to my question was... "Do you spend a lot of time around chicken coops?" WTH ?? Chicken coops? Um...no, the only chicken I see on a regular basis comes in a box from McDonald's. I am sitting there staring at this man like he has just grown a second head or something because I can NOT comprehend what a chicken coop has to do with anything! LOL

As it turns out...my lymph nodes are enlarged because I have an infection that can only be caught from chickens, pigeons, bats and black birds. It is not life threatening and does not usually require any kind of treatment. In my case, I will have to take medicine but I'm all for it! You have to breathe in some kind of spores straight from the bird or it's habitat to catch it. It can also happen if you have been playing in dirt that is infected. I have no idea how I was exposed. I do love the outdoors and working in my flower beds. I'm not sure that I want to know how I got it. It's not contagious and life goes on.

I am a firm believer that everything in life happens for a reason and maybe this is some kind of wake up call for me. Maybe it's just God's way of telling to slow down. He knows I am a little bit hard headed when it comes to things like that so I guess I will have plenty of time to reflect on it all during the next few weeks while I recuperate from surgery.

Chicken coops.... hmmm Life is really strange sometimes.